Bus Logic

This morning I waited in the drizzle for 15 minutes for an number 85 bus. Then three came at once. When I pointed this out to the driver, he said "That's because I am running half an hour late" We left it at that.

I have a terrible memory for faeces.

Buses are not the cleanest of places at the best of times, scraps of food, spilt drinks, strewn newspapers, puke and now excrement. Excellent. The number 73 bendy bus from Newington Green now arrives complete with the fragrant odour of dog poo. Well that’s just great.

Handy Tube Guide.

Bakerloo - Change at Baker Street
Central - Ok
Circle - Going No-where
District - Delayed
East London - Pointless
Hammersmith & City - Change at Baker Street
Jubilee - Finchley Road!
Metropolitan - Suburbia
Northern - Hot, crowded, filthy
Piccadilly - FAR TOO LOUD!
Victoria - Both ends in dubious places
Waterloo & City - For twats only

RESULT!

The congestion charge has been a success, so now Ken can now give the tube cattle a rebate with all the millions he has flowing in from the scheme.

Hmm, I suppose under the circumstances a price hike of double the rate of inflation was the best we could realistically hope for.

Still thank god the impoverished residents of Kensington and Chelsea got that 90% discount on the congestion charge they so desperately needed.

Oh where to begin...

Is this really the same counrty that evacuated Dunkirk with sailing boats and paddle steamers?