Ladies and Gentlemen

There are severe delays on the Northern Line.

This is due to chronic underinvestment, a system pushed to overcapacity, a management held to ransom by belligerent and aggressive unions, and an ill educated lackadaisical work-shy workforce.

Oh no, hang on I meant to say signalling problems. My boss is going to kill me!

Still, if he does, we can stage a walk out and bring the capital to it's knees. AGAIN.