Busses every 6 to 7 minutes.

Oh really. OH R-E-A-L-L-Y? How you can make these claims beggars belief. I suppose if it said "busses every half an hour or so and even then it will be too full to get on", people might get a tad angry.

Believe me, I am a tad angry anyway.

The Richmond Train Conspiracy...

As I while away my youth at Funnersbury Station waiting endlessly for a train. I cannot help but notice that for every district line train going in to town there are 5 or six going to Richmond. Now that's only two stops away, and yet they never come back.

So my question is, what in the name of Jebus are you doing with them all in Richmond? Is there a secret underground train silo, are you hoarding them all for fun, or as I suspect, smashing them to smithereens to help deal with the seriousUnderground train glut.

I want answers and I want them NOW!

Just so you know....

MAINTENENCE is when you carry out work on something which is functioning properly, to MAINTAIN it.

What you are talking about should really be called REPAIRS.

Where have all the busses gone?

Long time - none passing.
Where have all the busses gone?
Long time to get home....

For Peter Paul and Mary's sake can I have a bus please?

Here's a thing....

Stop trying to claim the trains are running on time when the arrival time shown on the board is some minutes ago and no train has yet appeared.

After half an hour of no trains AT ALL, people start to be ever so slightly suspicious of you and your preposterous claims.

Are you sitting comfortably?

THANK GOD FOR THAT!

Don't you worry about me - I am just using these crutches for a laugh. And that especially means you, girl sitting opposite who keeps taking sneaky glances at my leg, then pretending you can't see.

Thanks though to the chap on the central line, who immediately lept up when I got on, but sadly was only going one stop.

It makes me proud to be British.